Alex Mercer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lessandmorethanhuman) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
returnjourneylogs2022-04-09 09:08 pm
lessandmorethanhuman) wrote in returnjourneylogs2022-04-09 09:08 pm
Entry tags:
I know the breakdown. Everything is gonna shake now someday
Passengers: Alex and anyone else interested
Location: Inmate Bunks
Date: After the SIM
Summary: Alex is having a small nervous breakdown, on top of the physical effects of dying in the SIM.
Warnings: Language
Once Alex had gotten back to his bunk, he'd huddled in on himself. It hadn't been easy to get back. He'd had balance issues, couldn't grab properly, was confused, and felt nauseated. He remembered dying in the SIM--being slowly eaten alive by the plant-life and fungi.
Was that what the people he'd killed had experienced? That increasing loss of self, as he'd consumed them? Alex couldn't quite remember--or rather, he remembered too much. Hundreds of memories fought themselves for space in his head, to make themselves heard. It was overwhelming, drowning out his own voice and sense of 'who' he was.
Who was Alex Mercer anyways? He wasn't a real person after all, was he? With a groan, Alex tossed his communicator out the front of his bunk, and curled up under his blanket. There were multiple senses--multiple voices in his head--grateful that his shapeshifting was locked in one shape at the moment.
Location: Inmate Bunks
Date: After the SIM
Summary: Alex is having a small nervous breakdown, on top of the physical effects of dying in the SIM.
Warnings: Language
Once Alex had gotten back to his bunk, he'd huddled in on himself. It hadn't been easy to get back. He'd had balance issues, couldn't grab properly, was confused, and felt nauseated. He remembered dying in the SIM--being slowly eaten alive by the plant-life and fungi.
Was that what the people he'd killed had experienced? That increasing loss of self, as he'd consumed them? Alex couldn't quite remember--or rather, he remembered too much. Hundreds of memories fought themselves for space in his head, to make themselves heard. It was overwhelming, drowning out his own voice and sense of 'who' he was.
Who was Alex Mercer anyways? He wasn't a real person after all, was he? With a groan, Alex tossed his communicator out the front of his bunk, and curled up under his blanket. There were multiple senses--multiple voices in his head--grateful that his shapeshifting was locked in one shape at the moment.
no subject
Fighting words, from someone as seemingly harmless as Grace. Surely that says something about the experience's lingering effects on the psyches of the Peregrine's inhabitants, inmate and warden alike. She's not looking at Alex, either-- ashamed to admit to something so offensive, maybe.
no subject
no subject
Alex hadn't been in the habit of referring to himself in the third person, before now. And it seemed like he was drawing a distinction between past actions and present emotions. Was there really that much of a difference, post-simulation? Or was something else going on here? Best to be gentle, and most of all, careful. Grace has no intention to provoke, but obviously he was here in this space prison for a reason, and if he was indeed as volatile as he says he has been in his past (this past-Alex version of himself, anyway), then it's not just out of kindness's sake that she approaches with kid gloves.
no subject
"Dr. Alex J. Mercer." Came the quiet answer to her question. "I'm....going to tell you something Claire, and it's not like it's any huge secret but it's only come up so far with one other warden. It's also not like I don't know you guys talk with each other."