Theo Crawford (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sanctus_dei) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
returnjourneylogs2022-02-15 11:21 am
sanctus_dei) wrote in returnjourneylogs2022-02-15 11:21 am
action | OTA
Passengers: Theo, and you
Location: Chapel/loading bay
Date: morning/afternoon of Feb.15
Summary: Theo is an annoying brat and he's here to tell you about it
Warnings: none, yet
[After a pretty intense drying out period, Theo is slowly returning to his normal self. Unfortunately, that self is an unrepentant pain in the ass, with too much time on his hands and no real outlets for his energy and seemingly endless anger. At least he's starting to finally look a little better. He's back to wearing his suit again instead of just Peregrine-issued pajamas, and he's even got a little more color back in his complexion. Some fresh air and a trip to the beach seems to have put some life back in him. Maybe this wasn't a good thing.
With his books limited on what he is allowed to read, and the ship locked down on what inmates are allowed to do unsupervised, he’s left to wreak havoc on whatever he can get his hands on. Little did he know that today he’d finally be assigned a warden of his own for the first time, so Lucifer gets to hit the ground running with this kid. ]
For inmates [morning]
[Any inmate who happens to be passing the much-neglected chapel will hear some crashing noises from inside. When they peek in, they will find Theo causally tearing the place up. Digging through what little has been supplied, as nothing had been requested yet, he upturns the storage containers of symbols and vestments, littering the floors. Seats are knocked over, tables tipped. It’s definitely the work of one very mature teenager.
When he notices he’s being watched, he only shrugs as he rummages around.]
Y’know, it’s funny. I half-expected to find one of them hotel Bibles hiding in here somewhere.
For wardens [afternoon]
[There’s a loud crashing noise coming from the area of the loading bay, and upon investigation, there’s Theo. He’s dragged several of the chairs from the mess hall out here, and has tossed them in the way of the auto-closing doors that smash them like tin cans. He’s holding the next one over his head and is ready to toss it over when he’s discovered, and he stops in his tracks.]
[Dryly, he adds:] … Oops.
Location: Chapel/loading bay
Date: morning/afternoon of Feb.15
Summary: Theo is an annoying brat and he's here to tell you about it
Warnings: none, yet
[After a pretty intense drying out period, Theo is slowly returning to his normal self. Unfortunately, that self is an unrepentant pain in the ass, with too much time on his hands and no real outlets for his energy and seemingly endless anger. At least he's starting to finally look a little better. He's back to wearing his suit again instead of just Peregrine-issued pajamas, and he's even got a little more color back in his complexion. Some fresh air and a trip to the beach seems to have put some life back in him. Maybe this wasn't a good thing.
With his books limited on what he is allowed to read, and the ship locked down on what inmates are allowed to do unsupervised, he’s left to wreak havoc on whatever he can get his hands on. Little did he know that today he’d finally be assigned a warden of his own for the first time, so Lucifer gets to hit the ground running with this kid. ]
For inmates [morning]
[Any inmate who happens to be passing the much-neglected chapel will hear some crashing noises from inside. When they peek in, they will find Theo causally tearing the place up. Digging through what little has been supplied, as nothing had been requested yet, he upturns the storage containers of symbols and vestments, littering the floors. Seats are knocked over, tables tipped. It’s definitely the work of one very mature teenager.
When he notices he’s being watched, he only shrugs as he rummages around.]
Y’know, it’s funny. I half-expected to find one of them hotel Bibles hiding in here somewhere.
For wardens [afternoon]
[There’s a loud crashing noise coming from the area of the loading bay, and upon investigation, there’s Theo. He’s dragged several of the chairs from the mess hall out here, and has tossed them in the way of the auto-closing doors that smash them like tin cans. He’s holding the next one over his head and is ready to toss it over when he’s discovered, and he stops in his tracks.]
[Dryly, he adds:] … Oops.
no subject
[ The bullshit stops here! His demeanor is deadly serious. ]
If you’re so bored that you’re destroying chairs, then we can find you some things to do that will be more productive. I’m thinking we start with cleaning toilets. Scrubbing the mess hall down after meals. Maybe laundry duty. I’ll have a chat with the Navarch about reconfiguring the cleaning bots so you’ve got more to do.
no subject
[The stern look on Lucifer shows he's obviously not kidding, and Theo scoffs.]
Inventing busywork. Great.
[There's a brief moment where Theo looks him in the eye, considering challenging him. What if he doesn't do it? What's the worst that could happen to him?
Maybe he'd say something, if it wasn't Lucifer glaring back at him. Theo's tough, but not as tough as he used to be. He finally looks away, sliding over into the corner. We're approaching maximum sullen teenager here.]
I don't care. It doesn't matter what I do or don't do anyway. If scrubbing toilets gets you off my back, fine.
no subject
[ He’s got plenty of time to think, after all! ]
I’ll send some reading material to your CommLink as well. Doctor Claire thinks it’s a good idea for everyone to have some basic first aid knowledge, so we’ll start with that. If there’s anything you’d like to read about, let me know and I’ll consider it.
Oh, and you’ll be having conversations with me. Every day, for at least an hour. We’ll start in here, and if I think I can trust you not to make trouble we can move to other locations. The observatory, maybe, or even the SIRE.
no subject
[By the Navarch's order, Theo is strictly limited to two books a month on magic, and absolutely nothing on necromancy.
He runs a hand through his hair, his usual nervous tic. He's shaking slightly, though he hasn't noticed yet.]
I felt like utter shit after they brought me here. I was still fucking dying. [Recovering from the decimation his last spells did to his body and soul, as the autodoc only repaired the bullet wound that actually killed him. All made a hundred times worse by suddenly being cut cold turkey from nicotine and alcohol.] I could have just fucking died in my bunk and no one would have even noticed for days. Drag my ass across the universe and resurrect me, and then leave me to fucking rot?!
[And yet, when he ran off, the wardens mobilized pretty quickly to find him. But he won't believe they did it for any other reason than their jobs forced them to.
Also, all of that sort of spilled out. He was trying to make a point, but got lost in the weeds of his own anger. He shakes his head, refocusing.]
So fucking excuse me if I wasn't feeling fucking clever.
[Wait. Hold the phone. He looks up at Lucifer now, looking very suspiciously about one thing in particular.]
What? Hour-long conversations about what, exactly.
no subject
What's also true, is that Lucifer learned from his daughter that sometimes, being objectively correct isn't as important as listening to what someone else is actually feeling and experiencing. What's clearly true is that Theo is frustrated, bored, angry, upset, and maybe most of all frightened. And he genuinely doesn't know what to do.
Also, he files away the bit about gardening, to ask the Navarch about perhaps. If he's interested in it, perhaps at some point Lucifer will be able to give him the chance to do a bit of gardening. ]
Yes, we're going to talk. This is a good start, actually, because we're mostly going to talk about you. This is what you're going to do, here. What we're going to do. We're going to find productive ways for you to pass your time, and we're going to talk about you. Your life, your feelings, your actions. That's how we get you out of here. That's how you avoid simply dying and going to a place far, far worse than this.
no subject
No amount oftalking is going to suddenly fix me and get me out of here. And how many times have I said that can't go home? If the Navarch can wiggle her fucking fingers and undone what I did, then why doesn't she just fucking do it now?
no subject
Joke's on you, Theo, this isn't even your first session with Lucifer. ]
Why should she? Why should she do more for you than she already has? She saved your life, after all. You did terrible things, yes? And yet, she saved your life. Yours. Why do you suppose that is, if you can't go home?
no subject
I don't know! But I wish she fucking hadn't!
[He stops himself from going further, taking a sharp breath inward and standing up straight. Get your shit together, Crawford.
He wants to follow that up. He wants to clarify or back track, but he can't. He can't trust himself to say another word without losing it completely. So he just glares at Lucifer, still shaking with anger.]
no subject
But he can’t change the past. He suspects even the Navarch can’t. ]
Why? Why should she have left you to die?
[ He asks that quietly, into the silence that Theo has made thick with his anger. He suspects he knows the answer but he wants to hear what Theo is thinking. ]
no subject
Lucifer wasn't here when Theo arrived to see the charming name badge they outfitted him with. "HELLO, my name is THEO CRAWFORD. I have killed 987 people. I enjoy CHESS and READING."
He finally looks away, finally noticing that torn collar. When he reaches for it, he sees how he's shaking and stops.]
If you don't know, I'm not telling you.
no subject
[ But he didn’t expect to get a coherent answer, anyway. This is a process, and a long one, judging by his own experience. It took Lucifer several years in therapy to fully admit to the depth of his own self-loathing. It would be absurd to expect so much progress from Theo in a couple of conversations. ]
Is there anything you want to ask me? About what I expect from you, or about anything at all, really?
[ He thinks he’s clarified the whole what am I supposed to do thing as well as he can, for now, but he also wants to make sure Theo knows he’s here to listen to whatever he’s got to say. ]
no subject
Pretty fucked up of an idea for them to make you do this job without telling you what you're up against. Seriously, what a joke this place is.
[He realizes this means he's going to have to talk to Lucifer about it, that it's supposed to be up to him to talk about it, he grimaces. Maybe he could just make something up. He's really regretting everything he spilled so far. Theo's favorite subject was himself, but only when focusing on showing off how much he knew about spellcasting, and how good he was at it. Everything else? Not so much.
When Lucifer asks if he has any questions for him, only Theo's eyes swivel his way.]
Yeah. You fuckin' regretting taking this job yet? It's gonna be a long fucking month.
no subject
[ Recall that he's been doing this in Hell already, more or less. This isn't his first rodeo. ]
And no, I don't regret taking this job. Just because something is difficult doesn't mean it's not worthwhile. I've found that goes for people, too, sometimes.
no subject
I wonder how they'd compare against me.
[He meant that. What circle of Hell do you land in for mass murder on the scale he committed?]
no subject
That might depend on what metric of comparison you're using. There's what people have actually done - and then there's the guilt, and the denial, and the self-loathing, and resentment...
[ It's the other stuff that actually brings them to Hell, after all. ]
no subject
I'm notsorry. I made my point and I'm... I'm not taking it back.
[He's starting to run out of steam. While is anger seems never ending, his energy isn't. He might be feeling a bit better health-wise, but he has a long way to go. The adrenaline has finally petered out, but he'd stand at this corner and scratch at Lucifer all day long like this if he had to.]
no subject
I didn’t suggest that you should.
[ Which is true! He still doesn’t even know what Theo actually did. But the kid seems to be running out of steam, so it might be time to bow out for the time being. ]
Unless you have anything else for me - a question, or a request - I’ll leave you to it. You’ll be confined to this room until tomorrow morning, but you’ve got your CommLink. I’ll send you a few things to look at, if you want. And tomorrow, we’ll start again.
no subject
[Squinting, Theo rubs his eyes and forehand with a hand - his head was pounding worse that ever. It pretty much had been all the time since he arrived, though.]
Right. We'll see about that.
[As if he has a choice.]
no subject
[ Lucifer sounds quite a bit more certain than Theo, and he slips out of the room without another word, locking the door behind him. Within the hour, Theo’s CommLink will receive a couple of basic first aid manuals, and a handful of episodes of the American TV procedural Bones. ]