Theo Crawford (
sanctus_dei) wrote in
returnjourneylogs2022-05-13 06:31 pm
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Passengers: Theo Crawford and anyone who might want to talk to him, for whatever reason
Location: Solitary
Date: May 5th through the 11th
Summary: Theo has fucked up big time, and is only beginning to pay the price for it
Warnings: Will update when necessary
[Solitary confinement is the worst thing you can do to Theo. Though the cells are much more comfortable than they have any right to be, to leave him cut off from everyone and everything, only to be alone with his own thoughts for an incalculable amount of time. Despite anything he might say to the contrary, he really doesn't like being alone. He had too much of that back home. On the Peregrine, even if he didn't get along with almost anyone here, it was better than never having anyone around at all.
The fact that his planned failed so miserably, and now has to suffer all the consequences that come with it, is unbearable. Theo completely broke down during his attempt, and it was happening all over again as he waited in the cell. He had convinced himself over the last few months, no matter how hard any warden disputed it, that there was no way he would be able to graduate. He couldn't go home. Beyond redemption. His escape attempt was the only faint glimmer of hope he had, and, like everything, he barreled into it without thinking and nosedived. A self-fulfilling prophecy, really. On top of that, losing the chance to live on his own in an amazing place, one where magic wasn't feared or sequestered away.
He spends the first day acting like he often does, like a cornered animal. Pacing in the small space, punching the walls and door. Anyone who tries to approach him gets screamed at to leave him alone, and he refuses to talk further.
After that things go downhill for him, but at least he's quieter. But he's not doing much of anything at all - eating, sleeping, talking. He's never looked great, but he's looking more gaunt and withdrawn than ever. He sits on his bed, knees to his chest, small and frail as ever. By the time the end of port comes, he's been inside six days and he's broken all over again, but it's different now. Maybe by then someone can get some answers out of him. An explanation. A little compliance. That is, if anyone thinks it's worth trying.]
Location: Solitary
Date: May 5th through the 11th
Summary: Theo has fucked up big time, and is only beginning to pay the price for it
Warnings: Will update when necessary
[Solitary confinement is the worst thing you can do to Theo. Though the cells are much more comfortable than they have any right to be, to leave him cut off from everyone and everything, only to be alone with his own thoughts for an incalculable amount of time. Despite anything he might say to the contrary, he really doesn't like being alone. He had too much of that back home. On the Peregrine, even if he didn't get along with almost anyone here, it was better than never having anyone around at all.
The fact that his planned failed so miserably, and now has to suffer all the consequences that come with it, is unbearable. Theo completely broke down during his attempt, and it was happening all over again as he waited in the cell. He had convinced himself over the last few months, no matter how hard any warden disputed it, that there was no way he would be able to graduate. He couldn't go home. Beyond redemption. His escape attempt was the only faint glimmer of hope he had, and, like everything, he barreled into it without thinking and nosedived. A self-fulfilling prophecy, really. On top of that, losing the chance to live on his own in an amazing place, one where magic wasn't feared or sequestered away.
He spends the first day acting like he often does, like a cornered animal. Pacing in the small space, punching the walls and door. Anyone who tries to approach him gets screamed at to leave him alone, and he refuses to talk further.
After that things go downhill for him, but at least he's quieter. But he's not doing much of anything at all - eating, sleeping, talking. He's never looked great, but he's looking more gaunt and withdrawn than ever. He sits on his bed, knees to his chest, small and frail as ever. By the time the end of port comes, he's been inside six days and he's broken all over again, but it's different now. Maybe by then someone can get some answers out of him. An explanation. A little compliance. That is, if anyone thinks it's worth trying.]
no subject
Do you really believe that?
[It's not a mocking question - he wants to know.]
Do you actually think that. Would you say that if you weren't a warden?
no subject
[Whether she herself is a warden or not doesn't really change that opinion. Of course, should Black Jack Randall appear in this place this whole mindset of hers would go right out the fucking window, but as it stands? She does believe it.]
I imagine Loki will talk to you soon enough, but once you're out of here, I want you to help me find a way to make that plant useful.
no subject
That suggestion, though, gets a furrowed brow from him. Several points here.]
You... want me to help. And you think that thing would be useful otherwise?
no subject
You figured out what it could do. And if it can be used as a sort of... Sleep aid, or something useful if technology fails us, we should learn that.
no subject
Mm. Mostly by accident, though. Taught me to stop forgettin' my gloves, if nothing else.
Does it matter, though? Doubt that the wardens'll agree to me doing... anything, from here on in. Besides more mopping.
no subject
[And she'll maybe have someone else hang around. She's a warden, but ultimately just a human woman in her fifties. Not difficult to take down.]
no subject
Solitary has been very bad for him. Being left alone, ignored, with nothing but his thoughts and his failures is pretty much the worst thing you could do to him. Even still, it could have been so much worse. They could just leave him in here forever. They could just continue to pretend he doesn't exist in here, but they're not.
After a minute or two of consideration, he finally looks back at Claire again, and gives her a light nod.]
Okay.
no subject
[Just to drive that point home.]
no subject
Yeah.
no subject
[She stands, arms crossed at her middle. She's said what she's wanted to, and she doesn't see the point in beating a dead horse. It's clear he knows he fucked up.]
I doubt you'll be in here too long. We'll start once you're out.
no subject
[He trails off when Claire gets up, looking like she's about to leave. He can't help but look a little desperate as he tries to come up with something to say, some other question or complaint in order to get her to stick around longer, but comes up short. There's only one thing he can think of after a moment or two of false starts.]
You... don't know how much longer, then.
no subject
It won't be much longer. [She doesn't want him locked up for too long, either.] Try and get some sleep, Theo.
no subject
[Just before the door door closes behind her, though, he mutters something.]
Thanks. For... coming by.